Oh and yes, do take a look @ Thesamplestore, thesamplestore.sg is a site mainly to test purchase or test out the different products (mainly beauty) from a range of skincare to makeup!!! I know that some of you girls might be interested and best part is that, you'll be able to redeem free samples, before you decide if you want to purchase a certain product!!! Good news, is that you just have to pay for the delivery fee, and that's only 2-4 bucks!! May be doing a review for certain products soon (depends), so if you want to try it out too, click Thesamplestore and get started now, before the sample stocks run out!! Much appreciated x! ♥♥
So today's mothers day and there's nothing planned out. Quite guilt stricken for not preparing anything for mom, guess a part of me still is concerned about her feelings. Not sure if its just a feeling of being indebted towards her, or? Afterall she was the one that raised me up. Its sunday once again, had initially planned on going for church but i guess i'll put it off till next week, after my exams. Can't wait for my exams to be over, but i'm not looking forward to the results. Didn't study this time round. Bound to fail for sure, ha ha whats new. Woke up in the morning feeling so drained from my dreams, have been having really exaggerated and ridiculous dreams lately and it pretty much freaked me out. Feeling so horrible, felt the surge of sadness and relief the moment i woke up, glad that it was only just a dream, summary of my dream: not to take the people and things i love for granted. Sigh i miss bb so much. :( Had dinz with Patrick yesterday and i have no idea why I was on such a food desperate spree yesterday. Craving for cupcakes, gongcha, pastamania, pizzahut, kfc, starbucks, sushi, tauhuey... God knows what else. Had a very satisfying dinner and i had the best chicken wings evurrr hehe. Yummy.
I chose this life for myself, and i chose to walk down this path, i don't know if there's any turning back now but i really hope you'll understand why i'm doing this. I just want someone to fight for me and realise i do have my reasons for doing things and as much as it hurts, i want a reason to turn back because i know that even if i was leading a life full of doubts and was always caught up in my endless wishful thinkings, i was happy back then. Even though its easier to say i don't care, to try to numb myself towards the things and people around me, then to let myself go through the vicious cycle of hurt again, i'm not happy. And i can say that this hurts more, but still i keep my feelings to myself because i know that as much as i love someone, i'm more afraid of getting hurt. Is that selfish of me? I tell myself i have no regrets but i know when the time comes, i'll be the first to regret it all. For letting people walk out of my life without fighting for them. What am i thinking again... I just hope whatever choices i make, it'll all be worth it when i look back in time. Always pushing people away due to my insecurities and putting my ego in priority, for once i should put my ego down for the people i love, but then again its so difficult for me to actually put my ego and pride down for anyone. "You don't know what you've got till you lose what you what you used to have"